There was mass confusion on Twitter today when Dunga named his Brazil squad to reveal a bunch of ageing donkeys and Chinese Super League mercenaries ahead of some of Europe’s in-form players.
Coutinho has been named in the Brazil squad but Firmino has been dropped. Meanwhile Kaka has been picked. Dunga is one retarded bellend.
— LiverpoolFC News (@LFCTransferNRS) March 3, 2016
We at CaughtOffside couldn’t agree more, and have decided to show Dunga what he is missing with our top-class XI of talents who were snubbed for the World Cup qualifiers against Uruguay and Paraguay.
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You won’t believe who WhoScored think the 3rd best player in the world is!
GK: Jeffren (Botafogo)
Who? Yeah, we don’t know either – but we needed a goalkeeper!
RB: Fabinho (AS Monaco)
Brazil are blessed with right-backs but the Monaco youngster is waiting in the wings.
CB: Thiago Silva (PSG)
It is absolutely inconceivable that the Paris Saint-Germain captain has not been named in a Brazil squad since last summer’s Copa America. He is simply one of the best centre-backs in the world.
CB: Gabriel Paulista (Arsenal)
The Gunners defender may have had a few wobbles since returning from injury, but he is surely still a better bet than Gil, who has recently swapped Brazil for Chinese club Shandong Luneng.
LB: Filipe Luis (Atletico Madrid)
The La Liga winner has reinvigorated his career since returning to Atletico from Chelsea last year.
CM: Hernanes (Juventus)
If you are playing semi-regualarly for Juventus, you must be better than Renato Augusto, who has five caps across a five-year international career, and is now rotting away at Beijing Guoan.
CM: Alex Teixeira (Jiangsu Suning)
Teixeira is an exception to the China rule in that he was ripping it up at Shakhtar Donetsk before he pied off Liverpool for big dollar. Not a central midfielder, but were are going for goals!
AMR: Lucas Moura (PSG)
The 23-year-old is one of the most exciting and dangerous wingers in Europe, but Dunga seems to think that unproven Santos attacking midfielder Lucas Lima, two years his senior, is a better bet.
AMC: Roberto Firmino (Liverpool)
Firmino is one of the Premier League’s in-form players with six goals in his last seven games. Quite how Kaka is still hanging around while the Liverpool man twiddles his thumbs is mystifying.
AML: Felipe Anderson (Lazio)
If Manchester United were reportedly willing to pay €50 million for him, Anderson should walk into the squad ahead of Kaka also. He has eight goals in 21 starts for Lazio this campaign.
ST: Jonas Pistolas (Benfica)
A record of 26 goals in 28 games this season is not enough to get Jonas a call-up in favour of 35-year-old Ricardo Oliveira, three of whose four international goals came in 2005 or earlier!
Goalkeepers: Alisson (Internacional), Marcelo Grohe (Gremio), Diego Alves (Valencia).
Defenders: David Luiz & Marquinhos (PSG), Miranda (Inter Milan), Gil (Shandong Luneng), Danilo (Real Madrid), Dani Alves (Barcelona), Filipe Luis (Atletico Madrid), Alex Sandro (Juventus).
Midfielders: Fernandinho (Manchester City), Renato Augusto (Beijing Guoan), Oscar & Willian (Chelsea), Philippe Coutinho (Liverpool), Lucas Lima (Santos), Kaka (Orlando City), Douglas Costa (Bayern Munich).
Forwards: Neymar (Barcelona), Hulk (Zenit), Ricardo Oliveira (Santos).
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