Sam Allardyce
The West Ham boss is not a player anymore, but you could definitely call him ugly, although best not to say it to his face. Allardyce is confident that he could work wonders at the Bernabeu. In 2010, he said: “I’m not suited to Bolton or Blackburn, I would be more suited to Internazionale or Real Madrid. It wouldn’t be a problem to me to go and manage those clubs because I would win the double or the league every time.” Sorry Sam, we’ll never find out if you’re right…