The inevitable has finally happened.
At least, this is what latest footage of the ex-striker speaking on BT Sport seems to suggest.
Owen, once one of the most feared strikers in world football, has become known in punditry circles for his monotonous voice, bland observations and single-syllable speech, and the reason has finally been revealed.
Owen is, in fact, a droid.
The striker’s deep secret was finally exposed on Saturday during a panel discussion on the subject of Gary Neville’s transfer to Valencia.
Neville, who has established himself as the anti-Owen of sports shows—eloquent and insightful—was appointed as head coach of the Liga BBVA giants earlier this week. While his appointment has been well received, the defender’s appointment appears to have prompted the final breakdown in Owen.
Manchester United & Man City set for transfer battle over £10m Premier League wonderkid
Photo: Is Chelsea great set to join Liverpool legend on MNF as Gary Neville’s replacement?
Van Gaal transfer wishlist: Galacticos sought at Man United to transform fortunes, Neymar wanted
Still to this day, we don’t know what Owen was trying to say, but poor Ian Wright, sat nervously alongside the unveiled robot, could only look on nervously as Owen blew a fuse.