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Louis van Gaal’s 4ft porn star double ‘shags’ Liverpool fan’s wife in disabled toilets of football club…

… REPORTEDLY!

God bless the Sunday Sport.

The controversial British tabloid – who previously brought you tales such as “BANNED FROM CHINESE BUFFET FOR SHITTING IN THE SEAWEED“, “Ten years ago the Lotto made me a millionaire, now I suck off dogs for Quavers” and, of course, “SEX WITH GREGGS PASTY BOILED MY BELLEND” – have outdone themselves yet again.

Last weekend, the Sport’s front page led with a story about a naughty dwarf with two occupations. Let us set the scene… He was a porn star AND a Louis van Gaal impersonator.

We won’t tell the whole story, because you can read it for yourself below, but, in summary, the Man United manager’s doppelganger allegedly “shagged” a Liverpool fan’s wife in the disabled toilet of an amateur football club.

And the randy 4ft f*cker showed no remorse! He was quoted as saying: “If he can’t satisfy his wife that’s his problem.”

Now, we don’t want to ruin the magic and tell you that this is total fiction. Nor will we! After all, we are in no position to question the integrity of such a reputable publication, which is owned by West Ham United co-chairman David Sullivan – a top bloke by all accounts.

BUT, if you genuinely believe a word of this, you deserve to be force-fed shit-infested seaweed, while your bellend boils in pastry-insulated gravy!

This isn’t even the Sunday Sport’s first story about a celebrity lookalike porn dwarf! Who can forget “GORDON RAMSEY SEX DWARF FOUND DEAD IN BADGER SETT“?

Louis van Gaal sex dwarf shagged my wife!
Sunday Sport article about LVG sex dwarf

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